VIII

The subject “negativity” has emerged in a new light; not, obviously, a very good light either. Since the Egyptian thing seems so weirdly odd, and as the recent insights into that via Emotional Intelligence, well, it just seems that I’m being pointed toward something. That the subject is Negativity is as pissy as I can ever recall. The positivity subject seems as obviously clear; having been led into some really great events, I am not in complaint mode. However, the ongoing battle with all of that seems to me to be winning my attention; It’s as if the subtleties are being pointed out. The woman who deprived her daughter of a boyfriend, controlled her way to death. Writing with the subtext out, seems to me to be the point. Also, lots of ideas about writing essays. Its now August. I am trying to stay positive with this shift, having come through the phone calls again with D I am amazed that I still stand for it. But as everybody seems to do it, its like an infectious disease. Really quite extraordinary. Hius reaction to my getting a wall unit was absoultutely incredible. He actually said, “Problem is you lose wall space.” I wouldn’t mind if he meant from a sub atomical physicists point of view, but I know he didn’t. And his reaction to getting the internet, that was extraordinarily negative. Did you hear what he said? All I hoped to find looks like it isn’t there anymore. Unbelievable. That said, there are other subtleties. I do feel a growing urgency to be here at the laptop, and to take it out somewhere as well. Having said that, I also feel that I may still be pushing something a bit far. I have been trying to recover from tiredness, but even that is not the actual explanation. I’ve love dthe shift with the room; it really feels like I’ve pulled something n back around; but I am worried. Tomorrow feels like its hand in the sense of today was another day I’ve just managed to squeak through. Not that the vacuum’s done. Am I a woman writing? Boredom? Bad attitude. It’s funny. This is funny. Its supposed to be fun. The way that the interim weeks between writing have emerged is really odd. The trip with Adi. Ella on the scene. The days at the Royual. The ley line energy and most recently the shift into Sirius and the Dog’s howling this morning oh and now the story about the wolves todfay all seem to link and point me to the verification of the higher level of language that I have been receiving. I suppose at some level I am still resisting that. At that level it happens, its so real; theres also a real willingness on my part to go with it. Some sort of hope that was blind feels like its transforming intno some sort of actual “this is how it is”. Can’t help but feel that I am being pulled through a gate and that I will be very grateful down the line for continuing to insist I listen, and if that philosophy congeals into an actually real, living breathing oprganic VIEW that I can honestly say I own, well then I’ll be even more grateful. It feels like it could cohere. It feels like I have crossed an ince of a step over into something there. I feel that it is possible that it may all very well be perfectly true. So much of it has cohered in the past against massive resistance on my part. Sao much of it too has been shown as quite extraordinary at many levels. I am really feeling quite truthfully believable; and I am feeling, “well, given what happened this time last year in the wake of the Sirius cycle, given what has happened since Stoke, given the subtlety of the direction that emerged in the wake of the Wesak festival…. How cool was that day the judge let all of the defendents off?.... to all of the other scenes I HAVE WITNESSED (BUT NOT WRITTEN ABOUT), makes me wonder if in this narrative it is time to just let it be and continue as it is as at the very least it may show me something later. See. WEIRDE. Now that I am doing this and it is about 17.23pm I suddenly feel that openness of being on the right trasck, and this is all involving the difference between handwriting, the evolution of form the here that has emerged and the fact that at some level this feels like handwriting used to feel. At that moment I recal the galactic center is very nearly overhead; another day has begun. A wealth of insights into wolves; some strange behaviour: I have taken down the Buddha flags. And I have uprooted those pepp[ar plants; and I am very nearly about to clear that Buddha from the landing and return him to James and I am and have been more and more that I have to bring what I know to be true to the table and keep recovering from these absolutely ridiculously negative conversations. I know I handled it better yesterday. The party went alright because I shut my mouth; but when I didn’t shut my mouth, when I could no longer stand being scrutinized, when I could hear not one more comment coming my way, Oh doesn’t he look like an English writer, turn of the century; doesn’t he look like… why do you have a beard, ah Hemmmingway…. Do you know why you have..” People who think they have a right to comment make me vomit. I really did feel sick to death of their butt holing up to life. That seems to be out of my system, the sun’s coming out and its five thirty and OH HOW I wish I could be shown how to use these half hour periods of time more productuively. How I could be shown; what if its not real and I’ve been hallucinating. Git and conscience, imagery and inspiration all confirm it. Now, however, I am no longer wrestling and trying to prove that angels “exist”… what a long, pointless wrong question to pursue that was! Now I am entering the full realsisation that these dimensional attributes of our existence are palpable and actually need to be engaged with. The 6D information is perhaps the most intense its ever been. Not only have I received specific information regarding these entities, but also that their intention has always been to help. How frustrated these entities must have been over the years since they lost, as I did, a homeland. Perhaps that’s why we are simpatico. Anyway, being the only one at this level who sdeems to be able to communicate this way with them has its alienating marginalizing effect, and that’s a wqiorry. Paradoxically, never have I been more sociable and never have I been able to swing into a scene that seems so carefully organized that happened. And I know it did, and in some real way I feel that its possible that it will happen again, that the summer somehow continues; that the Royual somehow continues; that this flat most definitely is going to continue; perhaps it is that what I am feeling; that somewhere in all of this the details have been worked out, they have re made their arrangements and its just logistical now to go through with their adjusted system. I can see how it would make a bit of a difference shifting to a Wednesday. But every week.? TThat subject, once again, feels well over done. My brain seems to have complete shutdown I’ve so exhausted myself on the subject. What appears now to be a window of writing, coincident with the galactic center overhead as an intensified form of writing emerges, from a day of proper rest, yes, I do like to sit and watch videos, yes I do still feel the necessity to write essays about what I see in media, and there still remains lots I’ve no idea about in this 3d realsm. Where’s Michelle? Whats the story with Ella. Why Oti? Why that with Dan? What about Adi? Do I get to see any of them, am I just to contuinue with the last best thing that happened to me and tho I would like that to be my party and The love I felt for Jill, and the fact I am and did feel so grateful continually to them for their love when I am stooped quiet enough to see it; the fact is that night out to dinner was the best I had, and being sat there at the Moda, the best night sat out this summer easily. And the shift in that sense appears to be toward town, and that could be odd as well as just as expensive but in my herart I sort of do feel inclined to keep following the flow where it is over there where the last best thing was that happened and what a fun night that was. Days like today, hard as they are as some aspect of me is resisting the day at home;, should say has resisted the day at home and yet out of the day at home a bit of actual sanity as all the experiences do seem to be swirling with meaning and at least I can say okay well I’ve had got hadden a bit of light time to just say a few more things. I still feel a bit rrotten about the way I had to spend the money. I have to forgive myself for that; and here again the whole subject re connects and re-emerges. I KNOW something got done or is in the process of being donew. I have seen it. I can feel it and I have been led to observe it in all kinds of dufferent forums. How that emerged out of the mAy June shift seems to me to make complete sense; funmakes fun. The Creator likes good projects. And what Of Sirians. They seem to be in the process of (We have completed the process of code transference and building the geometry from the *Dimension has interlinked with the planetary heart where the 2 dimensional world has been rewarded for its faith and openness to the myusteries also, The eastty is in a process of evolution.l Her energies have to be assisted and the only way to do that is to get cooperation from people in 3 d dhtn e earhtna cecepts she cannot do it alone as we all accept that now. We have translated the codes, the codes then pass into the fifth dimensional realm where you are currently inhabiting; having been raised up one dimension into this you are able to sustain and promote, feel and evolve inside the ocdes as they are emerging. Now into this dimension you cans ee that the Codes of the * d and the experience you have been told was the content, the inner content being cleared, which it has to be, the emotoion of that inner world cleared by the force odf the E 8 and the real translation of Michael back in May now opens the gate to continued evolution as we are all here in exact quincunxe moment simultaneously. That you have had to undergo the evolution here in its varied forms is a matter of long explanation for this emergent shift, as to why a and then b, why the handworriting and then why this, all revelations come from Source, it is best to say Source. We at Sirius B forge ahead. Now with this as this transfer into Form takes place of course there are nerves, of course there are questions